At the time of writing, I’ve just spent a week in Sussex ‘rescuing’ a close relative who, it appears, has succumbed to one of the variants of dementia. I say ‘one of the variants’ because tests are still on going and will take a few weeks to complete.

Having been alerted to the situation, my wife and I jumped in our car and drove down to Chichester where we found this relative malnourished and delirious and not quite sure who we were. Having gained access to the flat, we then quickly took them to A&E department of the Sir Richards hospital in Chichester – who were absolutely wonderful. After the usual wait to get through triage, our relative was soon considered as suffering from some form of dementia and entered into a system in which their care came second to none. The relative is still in the hospital undergoing tests for other conditions that may create or enhance dementia type behaviour, whilst being monitored by the social services with a view to future needs (care home or own home with warden assistance etc). We have returned to Suffolk safe in the knowledge that this relative is really getting the best of care and in the right place – and we are getting updates as and when we require them.

We, and other family members (no family live close to this relative) will be making trips to visit – but these will be painful visits – talking to a stranger in a body that was once a valued member of the family. The reality that we may have to manage this relatives affairs is also not lost on us – it does not seem right that we have to delve into such personal matters of finance and past social activities to help create and provide for a ‘best’ future for a person whom we know so little about. The phrase ‘that person is dead’ really is an appropriate one. Getting requests to perform tests and treatment are not easy, as is the duty of going through that persons home and personal possessions to help the social services and medical staff understand how the person got to this stage of illness.

Dementia is like cancer – you can read about it, you can know of work colleagues and friends who have had dealing with it – but until it is placed almost center of your life – you can not really appreciate the gravity of the impact it will have on your life.